Top 20 Car Jokes

Have a good laugh with the best car jokes you have ever read.
Enjoy reading these car jokes.

Read the 20 funniest car jokes you have ever read before. Make sure you share the ones you like with your friends.

1. A guy with a “Baby on Board” sticker just backed out of a parking spot and directly hit my car.

This guy has serious issues with pulling out.

 

2. My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her...

Instead, I swam to the surface.

 

3. What do you call a Spanish man who has lost his car?

Carlos

 

4. I'm 45 years old and I just bought my very first sports car. My girlfriend thinks I’m going through a midlife crisis.

But what would she know? She’s only 18.

 

5. What happened to the car dealership when they ran out of KIA's?

They sell Nokia's now.

 

6. On the freeway, a truck spilled its cargo of strawberries, which were then crushed by the cars followed behind.

Caused a traffic jam.

 

7. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car.

 

8. I saw a horse driving a car the other day.

It was a mustang.

 

9. A man was driving in a car with his wife.

He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."

 

10. What did Ross tell Rachel when their car accidentally hit a tree?

“I was on the brake!”

 

11. How do you top a car?

Tep on the brake, tupid.

 

12. My friend crashed his car into an Indian restaurant. 

Now he’s in a korma

 

13. [First Day as Car Salesman]

Customer: Cargo space?

Me: Car no do that, car no fly.

Manager: Can I see you in my office?

 

14. What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 mph?

Its butt.

 

15. At age 70 I participated in my first demolition derby today and my tires flew off my car.

I guess it's time for me to retire.

 

16. Over 80% of German cars ever made are still on the road.

The rest made it home.

 

17. Guy speeding in his car. Eventually, a cop catches up with him:

The cop says, Sir why were you speeding? Guy replies, my wife disappeared 22 years ago, and every time I see a police car I panic.

I am dreading the day when they tell me they have found her, and they need me to take her back home.

 

18. 3 friends are driving through the desert when their car breaks down.

They each decide to take just one thing with them as they go and search for help. They see a small village on the horizon, and so set off in that direction.

The first friend is carrying an umbrella, the second a whiskey flask, the third the car door.

After hours of walking, they find a man willing to help them. But first, he asks why they bought all this stuff with them.

The first friend explains the umbrella can keep the sun off them.

The second explains that he filled the whiskey flask with water.

The third explains, "If it got too hot we could open a window."

 

19. I got a car for my girlfriend

Best trade I've ever made.

 

20. What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look! I’m about to change.