The 20 Best Bar Jokes

Read these bar jokes to your friends while you are hanging out together and spend a great time laughing!
Bar Jokes

 

When we finally get out of work every day we are tired and we don't feel like thinking anymore. We need a place where we can laugh and spend a good time with our friends. Where do we go? Easy, we hang out with our friends in our favorite bar, talking about how miserable our day has been and telling each other our problems.

 

Going to the bar is always a relief, and now you can read these bar jokes and tell them to your friends and spend even better times together laughing without control!

 

If you love spending your time at your favorite bar, read these (of course, most of them are related to alcohol):

 

1. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?

A guy will actually search for a bottle of Jack Daniels.

 

2. The past, present, and future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

 

3. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"

  The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

 

4. The NSA Walks into a bar. 

“Hey, I’ve got a great new joke for you!” the barman says.

The NSA smiles. “Heard it.”

 

5. A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem.

He tells the bartender, ”Give me 2 shots of…”

The bartender cuts him off saying, ”You only get 1 shot.”

 

6. Two jumper cables walk into a bar. One of them says "We'd like a couple of beers, please."

The bartender says "Okay, but don't start anything."

 

7. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk not a bar.

No joke.

 

8. A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

 

9. A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm.

He asks for one beer, and one for the road.

 

10. A sandwich walks into a bar.

The landlord says, "Sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

 

11. Two termites walk into a bar.

One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

 

12. What do blondes and bottles of Corona have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up!

 

13. Two jumper cables walk into a bar. One of them says:

"We'd like a couple of beers, please."

The bartender says "Okay, but don't start anything."

 

14. A ghost walks into a bar, the bartender says,

“Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”

 

15. A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a Gin and… Tonic.”

The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”

And the polar bear replies, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.”

 

16. Two dragons walk into a bar.

The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.”

His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!” 

 

17. A horse walks into a bar. The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, “Hey!”

  The horse says,

“You read my mind, buddy.”

 

18. A lion walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?”

The bartender shakes his head sadly and says, “No, sorry. Why don’t you try the circus?”

The lion replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”

 

19. A dyslexic man walks into a bra…

 

20. Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first says, “I’ll have a beer.”

The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.”

The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.”

Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. “Come on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your limits.”