The 40 Best Work Jokes

Spend a nice time while there with these work jokes!
Work Jokes

Work Jokes

Going to work every day during our whole life can really become an arduous fact, especially if we are not so passionate about what we do. And even if you actually enjoy it, we're sure you'd prefer staying home sleeping or traveling. Either way, you need to read these work jokes to spend a nice time while there.

1Boss: How can we keep the office clean? Me: By staying at home.

2Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

3When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

4How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

5Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.

6When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.

7There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.

8Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.

9The man who created autocorrect has died. Restaurant In Peace.

10My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

11An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

12Someone has stolen my Microsoft Office and they are going to pay for it... You have my Word.

13What's the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market? Start off with a big fortune.

14If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

15I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?

16People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.

17I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.

18Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.

19Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.

20A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"

21A man was walking down the street and saw a sign in a store window that said "Help Wanted," so the man ran in the store and yelled out, "What's wrong?!"

22People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.

23I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

24My doctor told me I needed to break a sweat once a day so I told him I'd start lying to my wife.

25Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home? Me: I don’t even think about work at work!

26The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

27A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

28Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.

29I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the eight-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.

30What's the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market? Start off with a big fortune.

31Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless you're applying to be a statistician.

32I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.

33Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.

34What do you call a bench full of white people? The NBA!

35I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

36Why kill time when you can make it work for you?

37With a calendar, your days are numbered.

38My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me.

39I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refused to be talked to in that tone of voice!

40All I ask is for a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.