The 40 Best Birthday Jokes

Read the best birthday jokes that will be the best gift for you on that special day

Birthday Jokes

Our birthday is the best time of the year to be happy and laugh. Some people may get depressed when they see their number of years increasing, while some others are happy to grow old. Either way is better and happier with our compilations of the best birthday jokes that will really draw a smile on your face. Enjoy!

1When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When you slice it.

2What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellebrates.

3What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer? I Scream cake.

4As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, "You know, one would have been enough."

5Age is a relative thing. All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am.

6What do you get a hunter for his birthday? A birthday pheasant.

7Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one? No, they both burn shorter!

8My girlfriend isn't talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday. I'm not sure how. I didn't even know it was her birthday.

9What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake? No thanks, I’m stuffed.

10When’s your birthday? Every year.

11I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

12Doctor, why do I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake? Try taking the candles off.

13When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

14I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

15When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a female’s body. Then I was born.

16The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

17Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

18Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job.

19What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? Hoppy birthday!

20You know you’re getting old when people call you at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

21What did the elephant want for his birthday? A trunk full of gifts.

22Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

23You know you’re getting old when happy hour is a nap.

24Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue.

25Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.

26How old was the cave man on his birthday? Stone Age.

27What kind of birthday cake do you get for a coffee lover? Choco-latte.

28What do you say to your goldfish on his birthday? Have a fin-tastic day.

29How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish the moment.

30Why did the birthday cake visit the psychologist? Because it was feeling crumby.

31You know you’re getting old when you sing along with the elevator music.

32Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.

33What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.

34Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

35What kind of birthdays do babies have? Nappy ones.

36I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

37What goes up and never comes down? Your age!

38What do you always get on your birthday? Another year older.

39I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.

40Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

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