Jokes Unlimited 17/10/2019 09:00h
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Love jokes are those jokes that always makes fun of one in a couple. Arguments, being cheated on, or even having a break-up should not always be taken seriously. So look on the bright side of life and laugh at these love jokes. Don't forget to send them to your partner, especially if you want to remind them of something in a funny way.
1. I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
2. Never laugh at your girlfriend's choices.
You're one of them.
3. Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
4. Relationships are a lot like algebra.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
5. My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back.
6. My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk".
7. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...
8. I’m in a long-distance relationship. My girlfriend is in the future.
9. Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn’t work, just interchange the last two words.
10. Love is like a fart.
If you force it, you're going to make a mess.
11. I said, "I love you so much. I could never live without you."
My girlfriend giggled and asked, "Is that you talking or the beer?"
I said, "It's me talking to the beer..."
12. What's the difference between love and marriage?
Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.
13. What did one boat say to the other?
Are you up for a little row-mance?
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14. Two calendars fell in love with each other
They went on a lot of dates
15. Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them!
16. Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was the icing on the cake.
17. Making Love is like math.
Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply!
18. Oh, my love! My darling! If you give me one more kiss, I’ll be forever yours!
"Sh*t... thanks for the warning."
19. What are three words you dread the most while making love?
"Honey, I'm home."
20. A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back, my child!"
21. Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
22. A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles.
The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm.
"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..."
23. What's the difference between love and herpes?
Love doesn't last forever.
24. What happened when two vampires went on a blind date?
It was love at first bite!
25. What do a good employee and a lousy lover have in common?
They always come early.
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