Top 20 Baby Jokes

Babies make us laugh in many ways! Read these baby jokes that will crack you up
Baby Jokes


Baby Jokes

Having a baby at home can get hard sometimes, especially for new parents. However, we want to help you make the path easier with these baby jokes that we have compiled for you to relax and to see the bright side in every moment.

1Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the diapers package said '18-40 lbs'.

2Why is there a strange baby in the crib?" "You told me to change the baby.

3Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they are born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.

4I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? With any luck, right after it finishes college.

5Why is a baby like a diamond? Because it's a dear little thing.

6Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.

7I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

8Why do we dress babies in onesies? Because they can't dress themselves.

9What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.

10Why are babies always gurgling with joy? Because it's a nappy time.

11My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.

12What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? “It’s pasture bed time.”

13A baby's laugh is one of the most beautiful things you will ever hear. Unless it is 3 a.m., you're home alone, and you don't have a baby.

14What do you call a group of baby soldiers? An infantry.

15What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

16Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible? David - He rocked Goliath to sleep.

17My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he's healthy.

18What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

19Everything is made in China, except babies… they are made in Vachina.

20Who's bigger? Mrs. Bigger, Mr. Bigger, or their baby? Their baby — because he's a little Bigger.

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