Best 30 Death Jokes

Laugh away death's fear with these death jokes that will help make it easier
Death Jokes |

Death Jokes

Most people are afraid to die. Death is something inevitable and losing a loved one, be it a father, mother, friend, partner or whoever it may be, is never easy to handle and is something very hard to deal with. 

However, one of the best ways to deal with facts that make us sad and depressed is to laugh away! Read these death jokes that we have compiled to try to make your life a bit easier.

1I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

2Life after death does exist! Just not for the person that died.

3Do you know what the death rate around here is? One per person.

4Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

5Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma. Mom: shut up and keep digging.

6My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

7At the time of his death, Steve Irwin was testing a new sunblock... Turns out it doesn't protect against harmful rays.

8What comes after death? A necrophiliac.

9What is the difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.

10What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

11I think the death penalty is a good idea... If executed properly.

12My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

13What disease is the leading cause of death among potatoes? Tuber culosis.

14Did you hear that Princess Diana was suffering from PMS? Pulverized Mercedes Syndrome.

15Roses are dead, violets are dead, I am a bad gardener.

16I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

17All causes of death are liver failure.

18What did one death row tree say to the other death row tree? “I don’t know about you, but I’m not feeling too chipper”.

19Old software engineers never die. They just log out.

20Where can you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary.

21What do you call a dead fly? – A flew.

22Why couldn’t the T-Rex clap? Because he’s dead.

23"Doctor doctor; I only got sixty seconds to live ..." "Can you wait there for a minute please!"

24What do you tell a dead metal fan? Rust in peace.

25Do you want some dead batteries? They’re free of charge.

26How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?

27No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening. Think about it.

28My wife and I agreed to have each other cremated upon our deaths. That’s when I knew we were a ‘match’ for one another.

29If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema?

30A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. "Here, I killed your friend. Hold him."

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